Folly of the Faithful Canine

Avalanches

2025-08-30T22:12:01Z

In fiction, many people cause an avalanche with shouts.
It really can’t be done, beyond the shadow of a doubt.
Our strongest voices offer maybe two pascals of pressure,
At least a hundred times too small for causes we can measure.
In theory, it could happen with a supersonic boom,
But that has never been confirmed. Some scientists assume
That avalanches triggered by a lower-flying jet
Respond to wind or shock waves more than sound (we don’t know yet).
They happen far more often with a snowmobile or skis,
So when you’re on a snowy peak, proceed with caution please.

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Saturn's Hexagon

2024-04-06T22:38:06Z

The north pole of Saturn is home to a roughly
Hexagonal cloud pattern wider than Earth.
The south pole does not have a polygon, only
A vortex of major but much lesser girth.

A steep latitudinal gradient found
In the speed of the winds in the atmosphere might
Account for the hexagon; similar shapes
Have been made in a circular tank (with delight).

Some researchers claim that such lab simulations
Show spiraling vortices not like the pole.
A slow, shallow jet stream that moves in the main clouds’
Direction can mimic their act on the whole.

So how has the hexagon lasted for decades?
The north polar vortex helps stabilize jets.
A storm ringed by winds on the opposite path
Can make regular shapes, Andrew Ingersoll bets.

It’s also worth noting the hexagon’s color
Has shifted to golden from blue in four years.
One theory: The pole is exposed to the sun
As the season has changed, so a haze then appears.

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A Tip on Cows

2023-12-11T04:04:36Z

I always believed that the cow-tipping practice
Was totally mean and not fun.
I thus was relieved when I learned that in truth,
It has probably never been done.

For starters, it takes at least four burly people
To push one with adequate force.
Cows also sleep lightly when standing erect,
And they’re apt to resist you, of course.

Besides, if the cow isn’t injured or sick
And the fall isn’t into a ditch,
She shouldn’t be stuck there; cows frequently lie
On the ground and get up with no hitch.

For thousands of years, we’ve had people declare
That some quadrupeds couldn’t arise
Once fallen, despite simple proof to the contrary.
Please, let us try to be wise.

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Quicksand

2023-10-16T01:53:08Z

While quicksand has engulfed a lot of characters on screen,
This makes a rare example where reality’s less mean.
Not only is the real stuff not as quick as you might think;
It’s denser than your body, so you won’t have far to sink.
Your legs go down, but lungs ensure your torso stays afloat.
You’d best lean back to spread your weight all over like a boat.
Move back and forward slowly so the water rushes in
To fill the gaping cavity around a captured limb.
That said, without a tow truck, it should take you quite a while.
You could face dehydration by the time you leave the pile.
Depending on the region, you might drown within a tide.
But since that seldom happens, I would put the fear aside.

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Purple and Violet

2023-07-02T02:19:54Z

I always believed the words purple and violet
Referred to the very same hue,
Till somebody said only purple’s the one
That you get when you mix red and blue.

Since violet and red are on opposite ends
Of the visible spectrum of light,
There’s no reddish violet like yellowish green
When a prism divides up the white.

My sources have stated that purple’s not real,
That at most it exists in the mind,
An optic illusion when two separate colors
Are thoroughly, closely combined.

This ties to the difference twixt color and pigment.
I knew that the cones in our eyes
Send signals the brain may not process correctly.
I shouldn’t feel that much surprise.

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Brown

2022-04-18T01:59:15Z

In early years, I learned that brown’s a color all its own,
Resulting when you mix the hues of yellow, blue, and red.
It’s only in adulthood that I’ve come across insistence
That brown is just a name for several orange shades instead.

It makes a certain kind of sense; the CMYK model
To print or paint in brown combines the orange stuff with black.
Though RGB makes use of red and green in right proportions,
The light’s distinctly yellow when the mix is out of whack.

The term is from Old English brún, which also links with burnish.
The first recorded use of brown was circa Y1K.
Back then, it could refer to any dark or dusky color,
And Middle English changed it to the meaning used today.

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Boomerangs

2021-11-22T04:40:35Z

While boomerangs are classic toys,
They’ve also served as bird decoys,
At times percussive instruments
And fire starters (minus flints?).
As weapons, whether used to hunt
Or fight in war, they’re always blunt.
Forget the kind you’ve likely seen
In comic books or on the screen.
For boomerangs to change direction,
Throwing angles need perfection.
Battle types do not return,
For reasons people ought to learn.
For instance, any two-way flight
Requires wood that’s much too light
To strike that hard, and once it hits,
A boomerang will call it quits.
On further thought, that’s just as well:
I’d think that if your foes can’t tell
A way to dodge or block your throw,
You too might take an awful blow.
Sure, fiction writers like to add
Variety, but don’t be had.
If you don’t get the physics right, you
Find your plans come back to bite you.

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