Folly of the Faithful Canine

This Poem Is Not Yet Rated

Sun, 07 Sep 2025 00:16:02 GMT

For many years, I used to think
That “fetish” was the same as “kink.”
They both refer to wants or acts
To bring excitement to the max.
The key distinction: Kinks are just
A bonus; fetishes, a “must.”
And that is all I care to say
On this specific point. Good day.

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White and Black Rhinos

Sun, 03 Aug 2025 00:16:17 GMT

The white and black rhinos are much the same color.
Their names are alleged to have come
From faulty translation of wyd, Afrikaans
Word for wide, tho it sounds rather dumb.

The best way to tell them apart is to look
At the mouth, for the “white’s” lips are broad
And flat with strong muscles for grazing; the “black’s”
Lips are hook-shaped for branch eating (odd).

The white rhino’s body is shaped like a barrel
And long, not compact like the black.
The white has a hump on the nape of its neck,
While the black has more arch in its back.

The white’s head is apt to stay low to the ground.
Its long ears help make up for its vision.
The black’s ears are smaller and rounder; its eyeballs
Enable more optic precision.

They both have two horns, but the black’s are more even.
The white has a long one up front.
The black’s territorial, often aggressive.
The white’s more inclined just to grunt.

The white is endangered; the black’s even more so.
In large part, the blame is on poaching.
I’m glad that I got to see both on safari
While hopefully not too encroaching.

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Starlings and Grackles

Sun, 12 May 2024 00:32:47 GMT

Both starlings and grackles are dark-colored passerines
Moving in big, noisy groups.
They’re often together and often confused
With each other (or other birds, oops).

The fully grown starlings have glossy black plumage,
The younger ones more brownish gray.
In winter, their backs have a starry night look,
With light spots breaking out all the way.

Male grackles have glossy black plumage as well,
But the females are light to dark brown.
The head of a starling is brown and black mostly.
A grackle’s is blue all around.

While grackles have yellow eyes, starlings’ are dark
(Gray for females and brown for the males).
The grackles have shorter and less pointy wings
But sport longer and orange-hued tails.

You may have been told that a grackle bill’s dark
And a starling bill’s yellow, but bummer:
The bills of male starlings change color by season;
The yellow is just for the summer.

Besides, female starlings have bills that are pink,
Which could also describe starling legs.
The grackles have dark legs. It’s also worth noting
That starlings lay less speckled eggs.

A grackle makes rapid, machine gun-like calls.
To a human, the sound’s harsh and loud.
The starling, a songbird, makes plenty of bird sounds
In movies; it ought to be proud.

Since grackles are cousins to ravens and crows,
They are apt to remember your face.
They walk more than hop and will fly in a V.
There, those tips are enough for this space.

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Dugongs and Manatees

Sat, 24 Feb 2024 23:56:35 GMT

Dugongs and manatees both are called sea cows.
They’re slow-moving, mostly herbivorous beasts
Belonging to order Sirenia, named
For mythology’s sirens (a stretch at the least).

The manatee comes in three species: West Indian,
African, and Amazonian sorts.
The dugong’s just one now; the past Steller’s sea cow
Died out due to hunting—for fat, not for sport.

The dugongs live only in saltwater regions,
Preferring the shallow and sheltered, like bays.
Two manatee species will migrate to freshwater;
There Amazonians spend all their days.

One obvious difference: A manatee ends
In a paddle-shaped, one-lobed, and beaverlike tail.
A dugong’s is fluked, made of two separate lobes
That combine in the middle, a lot like a whale.

The snout of a dugong is broader and trunk-like.
It points itself down with a mouth that’s a slit
To eat off the sea floor. Adult males and some
Older females have tusks that they fight with a bit.

A manatee’s muzzle is shorter and features
A cleft upper lip meant for feeding on plants
That grow near the surface. It also has whiskers
Instead of mere bristles, not clear at a glance.

A manatee’s teeth have hind molar progression:
As front teeth grind down and fall out over time,
The molars that grow in the back can emerge
And push forward the other teeth. That’s just sublime.

A dugong is born a pale cream and attains
A slate gray as it lives about 70 years.
A manatee’s typically gray-brown and dies
Around 40. Both hear well for no outer ears.

The dugongs are lifelong monogamists. Manatee
Females will hardly mind sharing their men.
They start giving birth at age three, while the dugongs
Spend more time between births and start at age ten.

Although all sirenians mostly are noticed
Alone or in pairs, only dugongs are seen
In gatherings greater than six—sometimes more
Than a hundred together. That sight must be keen!

A manatee sees well despite tiny eyeballs.
By contrast, a dugong has eyesight that’s poor….
Good heavens, I’ve talked a blue streak on these mammals.
Go look somewhere else if you really want more.

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Snakes and Legless Lizards

Sun, 18 Feb 2024 20:06:18 GMT

A legless lizard’s not a snake, and neither has it lost
Its legs because of violence. The loss was worth the cost
To help it burrow underground. That said, the term applies
To lizards that retain their legs at useless, paltry size.

The fastest way to tell one from a snake is by the ears,
Two holes behind the mouth. That isn’t how a true snake hears:
By sensing the vibrations of a sound within its jaw,
Which sends them to the cochlea. The input’s low and raw.

Another way you might distinguish: Wait until it blinks.
A snake eye has a see-though scale, no eyelid like a skink’s.
But certain legless lizard species also lack a lid.
This method wouldn’t work for sure unless the blinking did.

The lower jaws of snakes are not connected to the upper,
Allowing them to open wide and swallow bigger supper.
A legless lizard can’t do that. It preys on smaller mice,
The eggs of birds, and many bugs (I’m keeping this concise).

A snake is very flexible, with muscles all around.
A legless lizard’s body gets quite rigid halfway down.
It’s mostly tail, and on that note, the tail can break away
And be regrown, unlike a snake’s. That’s all I have to say.

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Scallops and Clams

Sun, 10 Sep 2023 02:25:15 GMT

The scallop and clam are both bivalves and easy
To tell from an oyster or mussel
But harder to tell from each other, and so
I read websites for solving the puzzle.

The edge of a scallop’s distinctively ribboned
All over the lips of its shell.
A clam’s edge is usually smooth and quite rounded.
This makes the most obvious tell.

Inside, you can find that a scallop has eyes
With a mirror instead of a lens.
A clam has no eyes, ears, or nose; I’m amazed
At the senses on which it depends.

A clam has a lengthy and muscular foot
Meant for moving or digging in sand.
The foot of a scallop is underdeveloped,
Since swimming is more of its brand.

A clam tends to live where the land meets the sea,
Hence the digging to counter the waves.
A scallop lives hundreds of feet underwater,
Conducive to how it behaves.

On average, scallops are larger than clams
But unlikely to live for so long.
Clams also observe longer seasons for spawning.
(Your image of that may be wrong.)

The other distinctions are found via eating,
In texture, nutrition, and taste.
I’ll let you decide which you’d rather consume.
Now I hope that my rhymes weren’t a waste.

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Possums

Mon, 14 Aug 2023 02:20:44 GMT

Creatures called possums are found on two continents,
Each with a whole different order.
The name’s from Virginia Algonquian, having
John Smith as one English recorder.

The American sort has a thin fleshy tail,
Short gray fur, and a pointed white head.
It is known to withstand lots of rattlesnake venom.
Its go-to defense: playing dead.

The Australian variety comes in more colors:
Gray, silver, red, cream, black, and brown.
It’s smaller on av’rage except in the ears,
And its fur grows in thick all around.

It mostly eats plants, eucalyptus espec’ly,
Along with fruits, flowers, and seeds.
The American possum is keener to scavenge
And chow down on bugs for its needs.

Both types of marsupials favor the woodlands
But learned to adapt to the urban.
Australia’s fares well in more habitats, like
Semi-arid. Now that’s self-preservin’.

Some sticklers insist that America’s possum
Alone should come after an O,
But both have been given each spelling at times,
So would I care to edit it? No.

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Shamrocks

Mon, 20 Mar 2023 02:49:41 GMT

Another St. Patrick’s Day’s already over,
But can you tell shamrocks from more types of clover?
We rule out the ones that are purple or white
Or come with four leaves, tho they are a rare sight.
St. Patrick supposedly used the three leaves
In explaining the Trinity as he perceived.
The Irish word seamróg means clover that’s small.
That standard won’t narrow the field much at all.
The term is applied to no fewer than five
Plant species reported on Erin to thrive.
The Trifolium genus accounts for a lot,
But so does Oxalis, which really is not
For clovers. Most often, it’s just the wood sorrel,
The so-called false shamrock. Confusion is normal.
There’s also black medic, among other names
For an herb that is subject to shamrocky claims.
These national signs of the Emerald Isle
Are not scientific but still make us smile.

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Wetlands

Mon, 12 Sep 2022 02:42:40 GMT

George Carlin claimed that “wetland” was a coinage to replace
The less enchanting “swamp” so that the public would embrace
The move to save the wetlands, but that isn’t what I’ve found.
Way back in 1669, the greenies weren’t around,
But “wetland” was. Moreover, “swamp” is properly assigned
To wetlands where the major plants are of the woody kind.
The marshes, fresh- or saltwater, are full of reeds and grass.
The wetlands lacking nutrients for big plants form the class
Of bogs, which start as lakes until filled up with plants’ decay,
Called peat. Fens also have it but support more plants today,
Because they’re less acidic, having water flow all year.
These wetlands have their subtypes, but I wouldn’t list them here.
Some experts also recognize wet meadows as a type.
Aquatic ecosystems, too—so much for Carlin’s gripe.

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Mandolins and Lutes

Mon, 09 May 2022 02:54:07 GMT

Some sources say a mandolin’s a certain type of lute,
While others count them sep’rately. I won’t join that dispute.
Instead, I’ll note how mandolins stand out from all the rest
Of what we label lutes. Perhaps what first should be addressed
Is how they’re played: A mandolin most often takes a pick
For plucking, while for others, only strumming does the trick.
Most lutes are deep and bowl-like, but a mandolin is flat
And streamlined, and it doesn’t have an L-shaped neck like that.
Its pegs do not face backward; they stick outward to the side.
For extra pressure on the strings, the bridge is where it’s wide.
Some models have a pair of sound holes like a violin.
They always have four double strings; for lutes, that’s very thin.
A mandolin is more compact and easier to learn.
I’d sooner recommend it if you don’t have cash to burn.

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Crickets and Grasshoppers

Sun, 10 Apr 2022 02:15:03 GMT

Crickets and grasshoppers look rather similar,
Both found in meadows while jumping around,
But crickets are smaller and blacker on average,
Though they can both come in green or in brown.

Crickets make noise when their wings rub together,
While grasshoppers rub with a leg on a wing.
Their females may chirp in response to the males,
If less often, while she-crickets can’t ever sing.

A grasshopper’s diet is purely herbivorous,
Feasting on plant stems and flowers and seeds.
A cricket eats all that plus fruit and bug larvae
And aphids to meets its omnivorous needs.

The cricket’s antennae are longer and wispier.
Sometimes they’re used in a fight for a mate.
It’s active at nighttime in contrast with grasshoppers.
That’s how you know which you hear when it’s late.

The average cricket lives 8 to 10 weeks,
While a grasshopper’s lifespan goes up to a year.
They jump a bit farther and come in more species.
That’s plenty of differences; guess I’ll stop here.

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Ostriches and Emus

Mon, 12 Jul 2021 03:52:40 GMT

The ostrich is the largest bird; the emu’s number two.
An ostrich egg is purely white; an emu’s, greenish blue.
The emu has brown plumage and grows blue around the neck.
Outside of mating season, sex is difficult to check.
The ostrich male is black and white; the female, brownish gray.
The male sits on the eggs by night; the female does by day.
The emu male does all the work of incubating eggs.
The ostrich runs more quickly, thanks in part to longer legs.
A lengthy tendon helps as well. Each foot has just two toes
And just one claw; an emu foot has three of each of those.
An ostrich tends to eat an all-plant diet, sometimes bugs.
An emu adds in scorpions and spiders (I hear ughs).
The ostrich has five species left; the emu has but one.
The latter dies an elder when the former’s just begun.
We humans farm both animals at times for meat and leather.
The emu’s also farmed for oil; the ostrich is for feathers.
The ostrich comes from Africa; the emu from Down Under.
That covers major differences in case you’d ever wonder.

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Mastodons and Mammoths

Sat, 17 Apr 2021 23:02:30 GMT

I used to think that mastodons and mammoths were the same.
Of course, if that were accurate, then why a second name?
The two proboscideans sure are easy to compare.
They both were prehistoric, had an awful lot of hair
Compared with modern elephants, and grew their tusks real long.
But deeming them one taxonomic family is wrong.
Consider etymology for getting at the truth:
The mastodon had nipple-like protrusions on a tooth,
Specifically the molar, meant for eating leaves and brush.
The mammoth’s sported ridges for the grass that it would crush.
The tusks were also different, as the mammoth’s curved around;
The mastodon’s were relatively linear, we’ve found.
The mammoth had a most distinctive knob atop its head.
It also had a fatty hump for times it wasn’t fed.
The mastodon was shaggier and had a longer tail
And bigger ears but otherwise was not as great in scale.
Its habitat was sylvan, while the mammoth mainly strode
A periglacial landscape called the steppe for its abode.
I could continue talking, but I’d rather be succinct,
Espec’ly when the creatures I’m comparing are extinct.

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Beavers and Muskrats

Sun, 11 Apr 2021 20:37:43 GMT

Both beavers and muskrats are semiaquatic
Brown rodents found almost throughout the U.S.
They’re easy enough to distinguish by tail,
But when tails are unseen, then it’s harder to guess.

That said, if a critter is swimming along
In the water and all you can see is the head,
It’s likely a beaver: The muskrat’s whole body
Is normally seen; it must not like to tread.

You can’t always tell from the animal’s lodge,
As a muskrat will live in a beaver’s at times,
But lodges of cattails and mud on a tree stump
Are bound to be muskrats’; that’s one of the signs.

Such lodges are also much smaller than beavers’,
In tune with the relative size of each beast:
A muskrat weighs only 4 pounds at its biggest;
A beaver adult will reach 30 at least.

The feet are another good sign to consider.
The muskrat’s front fifth toe is tricky to see.
Its hind feet are shorter and narrower next
To a beaver’s and webbed to a lesser degree.

Of course, the most famous distinction between them
Is whether they gnaw on the trees and build dams.
I could keep this going, but you know enough now;
It’s not like you’re studying for an exam.

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Tanuki

Sun, 06 Dec 2020 21:44:37 GMT

The Japanese raccoon dogs (or tanuki, as they say)
Are canids, not raccoons, with fur from rust to yellow-gray,
Except the black of face mask, shoulders, legs, and tip of tail.
Their whiskers, too, are black, whereas raccoons’ are very pale.
They lack raccoons’ dexterity, because they’re short a toe.
They never bark like dogs; they only growl, and not as low.
Unlike all other canids, they go torpid when it’s cold
And climb on trees. They also like to pair for life, I’m told.
In folklore, they are tricksters out to make us look inane
With morphing and possession, but they’re basically humane
Compared with other monsters out of Japanese tradition.
They’re rather fun and goofy with a jolly disposition.
They harness luck for wealth, and so they get portrayed as chubs
Quite frequently in statues outside restaurants and pubs,
As if to say, “There’s surely nothing here you can’t afford.”
But mythical or real, tanuki widely are adored.

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