Folly of the Faithful Canine

I Didn't Know

Sun, 29 Mar 2026 03:42:38 GMT

You may have heard this story: In the 18th century,
James Cook and Joseph Banks became the first White men to see
A macropod and asked a nearby local for its name.
The local answered, “Kangaroo,” which rather is a shame,
Because the phrase meant “I don’t know” or “I don’t understand,”
But Cooks and Banks assumed it was the label in the land.
In element’ry school, I read the legend as a fact.
It turned out just a fib I wished the teller would retract.
We haven’t traced the start; it must have had an early date,
For Walter Roth corrected it in 1898,
But only in the ‘70s did anyone confirm
The Guugu Yimithirr used gangurru, a native term
Specific to the eastern grey variety of roo.
The origin of “Yucatán” has such a legend too.
These myths sure are tenacious, and I think that I know why:
They serve as an analogy that’s useful to apply
To other situations where communication fails.
They’re also kind of funny, but I hope the truth prevails.

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Kibosh

Sun, 08 Mar 2026 01:15:57 GMT

When people put the kibosh on a plan, they shut it down.
The word can be a verb, but it more often is a noun.
Its earliest known printing was in 1826.
Since then, it’s had a lot of etymologists transfixed.

Some venture that it’s Yiddish, from the Hebrew for “subdue,”
But no one’s found a Yiddish source that they can trace it to.
Some look to Turkish bosh, describing empty, worthless stuff,
As used at times in English. That’s not evident enough.

There also is caidhp bháis, a term from Gaelic that referred
To hoods for executioners or pitch-caps (what a word),
The latter being filled with boiling tar to put on heads,
But Irish didn’t use it as a metaphor we’ve read.

In heraldry, an animal caboched displays no neck,
As if cut off quite neatly (from the French as we’d expect).
One scholar thought a kibosh was a foot-long iron bar
To smooth and soften leather. That idea has not gone far.

The current favored theory is the kurbash, meaning “lash”
In Arabic and Turkish, for a penalizing thrash.
Some immigrants in London taught the British lower classes.
From there, it’s gotten popular with English-speaking masses.

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No Fooling

Sun, 22 Feb 2026 04:24:21 GMT

My erstwhile employer had meetings repeatedly
Telling us not to use insults like “lame”
Or “stupid” or “crazy,” which used to be clinical
Terms till they took connotations of shame.

I knew that more recently downgraded terms
Like “retarded” were apt to offend a whole lot,
But few can remember when “moron” turned up
In a shrink’s diagnosis, or so I’d have thought.

It bugged me to realize that less problematic
Such words aren’t among what we commonly say.
I seldom hear “nitwit” or “loon” in our parlance.
There’s even resurgence of slurs like “so gay.”

Of course, in an office, I’d call it a moot point:
All insults are most unprofessional there.
Our culture’s grown coarse, so let’s bring back some manners
And treat every insult the same as a swear.

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Damsels in Distress

Sun, 18 Jan 2026 04:12:12 GMT

I’m not surprised when people don’t like damsels in distress,
But sometimes the discussion uses language that’s a mess.
In theory, they’re just females who need rescuing by males.
Some speakers add criteria to what the trope entails:
The gal acts helpless even if she’s proven tough before.
She makes no move to save herself but waits for her amour.
She can’t affect the plot except by being a MacGuffin
To motivate the hero while her traits amount to nuffin’.
I see no need to narrow down the meaning of the term,
As regular examples are enough to make me squirm.
What’s more, some folks use “damsel” by itself to mean the sort.
That isn’t what the dictionaries commonly report.
I’d rather use the longer term; let “damsel” mean a lass,
Archaic as it sounds but with an element of class.

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John Duns Scotus

Sun, 14 Dec 2025 04:47:42 GMT

Medieval friar John Duns Scotus (yes, he was a Scot)
Was highly influential in the realm of Catholic thought
And even for the secular philosophers of old,
Tho of his life outside his work, quite little has been told.

One doctrine he set forth: the univocity of being.
It means that words applied to God and men must be agreeing
In definition; thus, if we describe a man as “good,”
It means he has a property Jehovah also would.

Disciples of Duns Scotus called what makes a thing distinct
“Haecceity” (like “thisness”). In some lexicons, it’s linked
To “quiddity” or “essence,” but it’s really the reverse
Of common traits to which the essence properly refers.

I won’t go into each Duns Scotus tenet in my rhymes.
My point is how his reputation suffered with the times.
Within the next few centuries, the English Reformation
Was bent against Franciscans, so he faced excoriation.

Some called the Scotists “dunses,” which at first implied pedantic,
Sophistic traits, but then it underwent a change semantic.
A “dunce” was just a fool, and conic hats the Scotists wore
Became a form of punishment a failing student bore.

But Catholic Europeans still acclaimed Duns Scotus’ work,
And by the 1960s, few would see him as a jerk.
For my part, I’m unsure he got a lot of concepts right,
But he’s too smart to have his name be treated as a slight.

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D-Minus

Sun, 07 Dec 2025 02:47:56 GMT

Why is it that so many words in our language
Conveying a feeling of gloom
Begin with a D? Just consider “damnation,”
“Dark,” “dreary,” “death,” “dour,” and “doom.”

That’s putting aside all the words with the negative
Prefixes “de,” “dis,” and “dys.”
Yet other tongues borrow from Latin and Greek
And seem much less “D-grading” than this.

What’s more, many insults begin with a D,
Such as “dim,” “dumb,” “dope,” “doofus,” and “dolt.”
Less focused on brains, we have “dastardly,” “dorky,”
And “dweeb.” Does the D sound revolt?

We do have a handful of positive D-words.
Cole Porter put some in a song—
Whose title, alas, uses made-up “de-lovely,”
Which bolsters my point. Am I wrong?

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Tap Into This

Sun, 14 Sep 2025 01:34:48 GMT

The tap code, or knock code, goes letter by letter
To tap out a message. In some ways, it’s better
Than Morse code: It’s easy to learn on the spot,
And using percussion is usually not
A good way to note when a signal is long
Or short, so the listener might get it wrong.

The tap code involves a Polybius square,
A five-by-five grid with all letters in there,
Except for the K, which the C can replace.
(Alas, that means “fake” would be turned into “face.”
If I were designing, I’d take out the Q.
I’m sure that would spell less confusion; don’t you?)

You first tap the number of times for the row
And then tap the one for the column to show
Which letter you mean. For example, the C
Is signaled by one tap, a pause, and then three.

My sources don’t say how far back the code goes.
It’s likely a secret that nobody knows.
But nihilist Russians imprisoned by czars
Reportedly used a grid different from ours.
The Anglosphere used it in World War II.
The Vietnam War’s when it really came through,
As four POWs held in Hanoi
Discovered the tap code was best to employ
To keep up morale and the chain of command.
If next to each other while talking was banned,
They’d tap someone’s thigh or could sneeze, sniff, or cough,
Until the guards noticed and cut them all off
With more isolation and thicker cell walls.
They still found a few ways when walking the halls.

The tap code turns up in some video games,
Books, films, and TV shows (I won’t say their names).
If I’m ever locked up or silenced by force,
I’ll favor the tap code. Apologies, Morse.

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This Poem Is Not Yet Rated

Sun, 07 Sep 2025 00:16:02 GMT

For many years, I used to think
That “fetish” was the same as “kink.”
They both refer to wants or acts
To bring excitement to the max.
The key distinction: Kinks are just
A bonus; fetishes, a “must.”
And that is all I care to say
On this specific point. Good day.

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Swearing

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 01:56:13 GMT

In olden days, the strongest swears available pertained
To taking Yahweh’s name in vain, but then religion waned.
As people got more privacy, they felt a lot more shame
For designated private parts and functions of the same,
Which thus became the basis of a second kind of curse.
Today, the most offensive words are demographic slurs.
Perhaps there’ll be a fourth wave, but it’s hard to think of how
The people of the future will take more offense than now.

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The Legend of California

Sun, 10 Aug 2025 19:50:20 GMT

Las Sergas de Esplandián
Dates back at least to 1510.
This Amadís de Gaula sequel
Seemingly was more than equal
In its popularity,
At least in Spain from what I see.
Chivalric romance then was big.
Today, we hardly give a fig,
Except that Don Quixote named
A bunch of titles to be shamed,
Including this. Regardless, now
The novel’s left its mark as how
A certain place name came to be:
Hernán Cortés had yet to see
But heard of an alleged isle
(A flub that stayed a little while)
Approximately where the book
Had mentioned one, and thus he took
The cue to call the land the same,
Explaining California’s name.

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Conspiracy

Sun, 20 Jul 2025 01:34:08 GMT

“Conspiracy” now is quite often misused.
It’s not short for “conspiracy theory,”
At least not according to Merriam-Webster
And such, tho it is worth a query.

The word can refer to a secret agreement
To do something bad or illicit,
Or else it’s the act that’s agreed to or even
The group of all people complicit.

What’s more, many speakers would have you believe
All conspiracy theories are rot.
I find that absurd: You think Julius Caesar’s
Assassins did not have a plot?

I know of a bunch of implausible theories,
But those needn’t tarnish the rest.
Perhaps their whole point is to make us dismiss
All the true ones (that’s only a guess).

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Book Review: Nine Nasty Words

Sat, 28 Jun 2025 02:07:59 GMT

It occurs to me that for all the nonfiction on language I've read, I never put any on my wish list. I certainly wouldn't have asked for one about cussing; indeed, I once gave up on such a gift almost instantly. Nevertheless, I decided to take a chance on John McWhorter's 2021 book, which has two subtitles: English in the Gutter: Then, Now, and Forever. (Nice use of the serial comma.)

( Cut for length )

Now I've snatched George MacDonald's The Princess and the Goblin from a Little Free Library. I'm sure it includes no profanity whatsoever.

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I Dunno

Sun, 04 May 2025 01:08:15 GMT

Most state names in the USA have meanings we can trace,
But “Idaho” was probably a gag; it’s out of place.
Some folks suggest the Plains Apache ídaahę́, or “foe,”
Referring to Comanches, but on that, my vote is no.
More likely, George M. Willing, then a delegate called “Doc,”
Made up the name and then devised its meaning (what a crock).
He claimed that it was “gemstone of the mountains” in Shoshoni.
He later would confess that he was being quite the phony.
Perhaps it wasn’t his idea, but records haven’t shown
Its use before an 1860 meeting that we’ve known.
Supposedly, he coined it when he’d met a little girl
Named Ida, but at any rate, he gave the name a whirl
And made it his suggestion for a territory name.
It won the vote at first, but Congress quickly felt some shame
And switched to “Colorado.” Nonetheless, the first name stuck
To one town there, and that was not the end of Willing’s luck.
In Washington, a county took the name a few months later.
In 1863, at last, the silly word’s creator
Would get his wish with yet another territory’s label.
The borders changed by statehood, but the name of it was stable.
Did people still believe the lie or simply like the sound?
Regardless, it’s a pain to change, and thus it sticks around.

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Not a Barrel of Fun

Sun, 06 Apr 2025 18:03:00 GMT

I wondered why people say “over a barrel”
For being quite helpless and likely in peril.
My sources have cited two actions at sea.
They’re both rather grim—not surprising to me.
It’s said that a sailor who nearly was drowned
Got draped on a barrel until he came ‘round
From having his lungs cleared of water at last,
Or else, in our late 19th-century past,
The barrel was where one got held down or strapped
For flogging. I must say the image is apt,
But sources keep showing the very same pic
Of a man with a paddle about to give licks
To a man on a barrel who’s wearing just shorts.
I doubt it was common with so few reports.
For my part, I hope that the first story’s true.
If not, well, the phrase is still fine in my view.

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23 Skidoo

Sat, 22 Mar 2025 22:41:39 GMT

A slang phrase, tho American and certainly far from new,
Is the name of a post-punk British band: It’s 23 Skidoo.
I’m not sure who still uses the phrase for having to exit fast,
But the early 1900s had it become a big part of our past.
At first it was two words separately, with meanings much alike.
In 1906, many ads would give the joint expression a spike.
The “skidoo” part’s pretty simple as a variant of “skedaddle,”
But where’d the “23” come from? Explanations leave me addled.
One theory notes the Flatiron Building on New York’s 23rd Street.
Its shape yields swirling winds, which might make exits extra fleet.
The trouble is that the building was finished only in 1902,
Three years too late for “23” and one too late for “skidoo”
(Altho What Happened on Twenty-third Street, a short from 1901,
Depicts a Seven Year Itch-style upskirt draft for racy fun).
In Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities, a man to be beheaded
Is called by his number, 23—how bland for a fate so dreaded!
A jockey claimed that a track was only 22 horses wide.
A 23rd horse would start behind, with a need for speed implied.
It might be a telegraph shorthand code to mean “Away with you,”
But Western Union has it for “All stations copy”; that won’t do.
Perhaps Skidoo, California, stood some 23 miles away
From a water source on Telescope Peak; the town is gone today.
Another Death Valley town, perhaps, had 23 saloons.
A man might visit them all to have the greatest time in moons.
This isn’t an exhaustive list of the theories behind the term.
Just know there are a lot of them, and none are yet confirmed.

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Shrove Tuesday

Sun, 09 Mar 2025 04:45:32 GMT

Shrove Tuesday, the last of the days before Lent,
Is for thinking of sins that one needs to repent.
So from what did the holiday’s title derive?
Why, the preterit form of dated verb “shrive,”
Which refers to the freeing from guilt once confessed.
I can see why this name isn’t favored the best.
Many call it “Fat Tuesday” or French “Mardi Gras,”
As before a big seasonal fast, they will gnaw
On some rich, fatty foods, the traditional one
Being pancakes. That sure went from solemn to fun!

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Berries

Sun, 02 Mar 2025 00:59:40 GMT

I’ve written of foods that are secretly fruits.
Now I’d like to move on to the berry.
It too has a certain botanical meaning
That differs from one culinary.

We tend to apply the term “berry” to fruits
That are edible, pulpy, and small.
But strawberries, raspberries, blackberries—these
Are not actual berries at all.

For starters, a berry is simple and fleshy,
With seeds but without a hard pit.
It comes from one flower containing one ov’ry
And lacks special lines for a split.

Thus, berries include avocados, bananas,
Tomatoes, persimmons, grapes, currants,
And various melons, along with the fruit
Of the nightshade, which has its deterrents.

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At Sixes and Sevens

Sun, 23 Feb 2025 04:10:57 GMT

“At sixes and sevens” refers to confusion.
It seems apropos that we’re not certain why.
The earliest version we know is from Chaucer.
The pluralized numbers arose by and by.

One theory’s quite simple: The numbers together
Evoke superstition regarding thirteen.
But why word the phrase in a roundabout fashion?
Were people too worried to say what they’d mean?

Two livery companies came to swap places
In order of precedence year after year:
The sixth and the seventh. Was this how it started?
Some say this was after the phrase first appeared.

Our best bet: A dice game called hazard involved
The most risk with a roll of a five or a six.
The English would garble the French cinque and sice
(As they spelled at the time), so the numbers got mixed.

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Kayfabe

Sun, 15 Dec 2024 03:48:01 GMT

While wrestling matches aren’t my scenes,
I’ve come to know what “kayfabe” means:
Pretending to believe it’s real
Instead of scripted for appeal.

It also sometimes has referred
To acts involved. This newish word
Was written first in ’88
But surely didn’t start so late.

So where’s it from? Some sources make
It out to be an altered “fake,”
Perhaps as used in carny-speak,
But that idea’s a little weak.

It might be from the Latin slang
Cavēre, keeping watch, but dang,
Who knew that folks who love a fight
Could ever be so erudite?

That said, it seems East London Jews
From World War I to World War II
Would say “keep cavey,” based upon
The Latin term, which wasn’t gone.

Of course, it also could turn out
We’re justified in all our doubt.
The coinage might have been opaque
On purpose, as befits a fake.

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Inaccurate Conception

Mon, 09 Dec 2024 04:22:56 GMT

A term some churches use is on occasion misapplied:
“Immaculate Conception.” Now, I don’t mean to deride,
But using it in ref’rence to the common Christian claim
That Mary was a virgin when the fetal Jesus came
Is apt to cause confusion or attract some scornful looks,
Not just from theologians or the readers of their books.
Instead, it means that Mary never had the taint of sin
And therefore would be worthy to accept the Lord as kin.
I’m not about to make a case the tenet’s wrong or right.
I merely wish to bring the terminology to light.

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Alicorn

Sun, 21 Jul 2024 18:27:33 GMT

My sources disagree on when a certain term appeared--
Perhaps the 14th century or 1966.
This quandary is partly why I find the term quite weird,
The other reason being that it sometimes means a mix

Of unicorn and Pegasus but also can allude
To just the horn of such a beast. In fact, I tend to find
That sources list one meaning while the other is eschewed.
I wonder how that came about and which was first assigned.

It's said we got the term from alicorno in Italian.
The al- part might mean "wing" or just be Arabic for "the."
In any case, we're speaking of a mythic mare or stallion.
Should we abandon alicorn for clarity? Uh-huh.

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Jumping to Conclusions

Sun, 02 Jun 2024 02:42:50 GMT

A kangaroo court is a court that ignores
Or perverts norms of justice and law.
It tends to attain predetermined conclusions
And see that as good, not a flaw.

The slang term debuted in the mid-19th century,
Judging from use in the press.
Despite what some think, it was not to be found
In Australia before the U.S.

One theory: When England was banishing convicts
To Oz, those were “kangaroo jumps.”
Alas, I cannot find a source for this theory,
So maybe it’s only for chumps.

The ’49 gold rush brought thousands of Aussies
And “claim-jumping” miners, it’s true,
But evidence says that the term’s a bit older,
So pinning it there wouldn’t do.

Perhaps frontier judges would “hop” from one town
To another while being unfair,
Or justice proceeded “by leaps,” or the court
Would pop up as if out of thin air.

It may mean the court is in somebody’s pocket.
Perhaps someone just liked the sound.
Whatever the reason, the term and the concept
Behind it have sure stuck around.

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Eighty-Six

Mon, 20 May 2024 02:28:56 GMT

The slang term “86,” a verb,
Refers to kicking to the curb.
It launched in U.S. restaurants
And bars but moved to other haunts
Where customers can be refused.
It also has a noun form used
In reference to spent supplies
Or no more serving certain guys.
More broadly, it can mean “remove”
Or even “kill” (I don’t approve).

It may have come from soda jerks
With coded jargon. Think that works?
Another theory names it for
The number of an exit door
At Chumley’s Pub, which thus conveyed
A flight from Prohibition raids.
The story Merriam-Webster picks
Is simply rhyming slang for “nix,”
Tho that’s a mostly Cockney thing,
Not common for the states to bring.

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420

Sun, 21 Apr 2024 00:23:22 GMT

In San Rafael, California, back in 1971,
Five high school boys would meet at a wall outside the school for fun.
They called themselves the Waldos, and they’d heard about a crop
Of nearby marijuana plants whose grower had to stop.

Some friends gave the Waldos a map that claimed to mark the very spot
By the Point Reyes Peninsula Coast Guard station for the pot.
They never found the fabled stash but tried on multiple days.
When saying they’d like to meet for the hunt, they used the simple code phrase

Of “4:20 Louis,” by which they meant to come at 4:20 PM
To a statue of Louis Pasteur (they all had sports to play till then).
In time, they dropped the “Louis.” After that, they gave up the quest
But continued to say “420” when discussing a stoner fest.

One of the Waldos became a roadie serving the Grateful Dead.
His brother smoked with the bassist, so the term was surely said.
Some Deadheads in Oakland released a flyer inviting all sorts of folk
To come on April 20th at 4:20 to have a smoke.

A High Times magazine writer got the flyer and followed the trail.
Despite competing theories, this is still the most likely tale.
The Cannabis Action Network, formed in 1989,
Would help to make 4/20 a popular pro-weed protest time.

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Easter Etymology

Sun, 31 Mar 2024 02:21:36 GMT

Most languages call Easter by an unrelated name
From Greek and Latin pascha. Why is English not the same?
Perhaps the Anglo-Saxons wanted distance from the Jews
And Pesach, so they settled on a pagan term to use.
That strikes me as ironic, but it hardly is unique:
Consider where we get the names of days within the week.

In any case, the Venerable Bede’s the only source
From olden days to tell us how the English took this course:
Eosturmonath, month to praise Eostre, based upon
A Proto-Indo-European goddess of the dawn.
It isn’t mere coincidence that “Easter” starts with “east.”
The dawn is also fitting for a resurrection feast.

The month’s renamed to April; that’s a mystery as well.
Some honored Aphrodite on its first day, so they tell,
But others cite a Latin word for “open” in allusion
To blooming plants or spring itself, a cause for some confusion.

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