![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Saturday, 18 February 2006 04:00 pm
(no subject)
There was a time that I welcomed nightmares almost as much as "good" dreams. They provided just as much wonder. I often had trouble judging whether it constituted a nightmare. And if things got really terrible, I would enjoy the sweet relief upon realizing that none of it actually happened. I had little stock in Freud but could almost agree that all dreams were desires made manifest.
But if I may lapse into two-tone perceptiveness disorder for a moment, there are two kinds of nightmares: the scary kind and the merely annoying kind. In the latter case, waking up tends not to bring reality back to me in an instant; I have to think for a minute. And if there's any time of day that I don't like to think, it's when I should be trying to sleep.
Getting out of TTPD now, my nightmare of last night was kind of scary, just not the way I prefer. I was on the living room couch, and my sister came to me and talked about all the homework we had to do. Apparently, despite being two school years apart, we had similar research projects that included plowing through a thick historical novel and writing about six papers. My sister was appalled that I hadn't gotten started on it. Pretty soon, a fictititous composite classmate appeared (why he was in my living room I couldn't say) and asked me if I knew a certain word in the book. I looked at the tiny print and saw a word I had never seen before, but I got the impression that it was archaic, along with several others on the page.
I could not wake up fast enough.
This dream does have a silver lining, tho. It got me to notice yet another thing that seems deficient in my life nowadays: fear. My employment and economic situation are pretty solid for the time being. I get consistent approval for my performance. My main fear is that my officemate will start playing "Moon Dance" on his PC and randomly sing along offkey for a few seconds at a time.
It would be a stretch to say that I miss major school assignments with pressing deadlines, but they provided a whole other brand of boredom. Maybe one reason I still play video games so much is that I'm more likely to have failures in them, however inconsequential.
Grad school is looking a little more appealing....
But if I may lapse into two-tone perceptiveness disorder for a moment, there are two kinds of nightmares: the scary kind and the merely annoying kind. In the latter case, waking up tends not to bring reality back to me in an instant; I have to think for a minute. And if there's any time of day that I don't like to think, it's when I should be trying to sleep.
Getting out of TTPD now, my nightmare of last night was kind of scary, just not the way I prefer. I was on the living room couch, and my sister came to me and talked about all the homework we had to do. Apparently, despite being two school years apart, we had similar research projects that included plowing through a thick historical novel and writing about six papers. My sister was appalled that I hadn't gotten started on it. Pretty soon, a fictititous composite classmate appeared (why he was in my living room I couldn't say) and asked me if I knew a certain word in the book. I looked at the tiny print and saw a word I had never seen before, but I got the impression that it was archaic, along with several others on the page.
I could not wake up fast enough.
This dream does have a silver lining, tho. It got me to notice yet another thing that seems deficient in my life nowadays: fear. My employment and economic situation are pretty solid for the time being. I get consistent approval for my performance. My main fear is that my officemate will start playing "Moon Dance" on his PC and randomly sing along offkey for a few seconds at a time.
It would be a stretch to say that I miss major school assignments with pressing deadlines, but they provided a whole other brand of boredom. Maybe one reason I still play video games so much is that I'm more likely to have failures in them, however inconsequential.
Grad school is looking a little more appealing....