I Beg Your Pardon

The U.S. tradition of presidents “pardoning”
Turkeys does not go back far,
At least when it comes to consistent official
Decrees; that’s where I set the bar.

The earliest story pertains to Abe Lincoln,
Whose ten-year-old son known as Tad
Requested reprieve for a turkey named Jack,
So Abe put it in writing. Not bad!

Harry Truman was first to receive one officially,
Partly to spite a campaign
Of “Poultryless Thursdays” he strongly encouraged
In order to help conserve grain.

The average citizen griped that the holidays
Fell on a Thursday that year.
The industry sent him both chickens and turkeys
He likely devoured, I fear.

So don’t credit Truman for startin’ the “pardon.”
Jack Kennedy did spare his bird
Spontaneously, and The Washington Post,
In reporting it, used the P-word.

Both Nixon and Carter, at least the first ladies,
Sent turkeys to live in a zoo.
Then Reagan became the first prez to use “pardon”
In context (while joking, it’s true).

At last, George H. W. Bush made the practice
An annual formal affair.
I’ve long found it silly to “pardon” the innocent.
Still, it’s some semblance of care.