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[personal profile] deckardcanine
Oh, don’t mind me, dear human; I’m an everyday raccoon.
Yes, I know it’s rather sunny on this early afternoon,
But that doesn’t mean I’m rabid; I just find it opportune,
Since you’ve come along with back- and fanny packs.

It’s a nice day for a swim, to those who have the time to spare.
Why not leave your things behind and head toward the water there?
Simply put them on the ground; you’ll find it easier to share
All those baggies full of drool-inducing snacks.

What seems to be the trouble here? I didn’t bite or scratch.
Don’t be daunted by proximity; I’ve no disease to catch.
Won’t you step aside and let me at those edibles to snatch?
I don’t care for towels snapping like a whip.

Wait, is that supposed to scare me? You don’t know me very well.
A raccoon is not a chicken; I am harder to repel.
You’ve begun to try my patience; you won’t like me when I’m fell.
Now relinquish, please, your human-fingered grip.

Why such grim determination to protect the food you brought?
You’re not starving, or you wouldn’t come to this vacation spot.
Don’t you know that other scavengers can never find a lot?
Do be civil for a change and let me eat.

I can see you’re very stubborn. I don’t want to make you mad.
Escalation of this conflict would, for both of us, prove bad,
So consider this your victory. I’ll leave a little sad,
But I think I smell a close unguarded treat….
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Stephen Gilberg

February 2026

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