(no subject)

[deckardcanine]

I'm back in Style! ...The Style Invitational in The Washington Post, that is. Here are the winners and honorable mentions of a contest in which we wrote rap battles for famous figures a la Epic Rap Battles of History, only briefer, less profane, and more PC. Mine is at the top of the third page. If you can't see it for some reason, I'll reproduce it here:

Thor: You’re still just a human; I’m a legendary god.
Get as tall as you like; you’ll make a nice lightning rod.
Bruce Banner: Go ahead, bring your lightning and you’ll lose in a flash
As I grind you to . . . oh, forget the rap. HULK SMASH!

I saved my other two entries for this post:

Sean Connery: You think you fill my shoes? I’m afraid you’re mistaken:
Your performance has me stirred, but by no means shaken.
I made the agent cool; all you do is make him bleak.
Keep your PPK loaded, ‘cause you’re far too weak.
Daniel Craig: Whose idea was it to give the part to a Scot?
Every time you try to use another accent, it’s not.
Unlike diamonds, your character type isn’t forever.
I’m suited to this age: both emotive and clever.

And...

Luke Skywalker: Hey captain, do you ever do a thing but command?
I could toss you ‘cross the brig after losing a hand.
You’ve sat around too long in your ivory tower.
It’s time you learned the Force is the source of true power.
Jean-Luc Picard: Big words from a boy who spent half his war whining.
Your moments of valor are too few to be defining.
I’ve stood up to an infinitely more dangerous foe.
If I want you at my mercy, I can always make it so.

Offhand (NPI, Luke), they chose the best of the three, even if it is the shortest.

Comments

[carlfoxmarten]

I still like all three. =^.^=

[deckardcanine.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[thatcatgirl.livejournal.com]

I quite like Luke vs Picard (I have trouble trying to make Picard's third line scan, though), but the others are good, too.