You'd Better Watch Out....

[deckardcanine]

We’ve seen him many places, looking harmless as can be,
Always cheerful, friendly, elderly, obese, and maybe twee.
But have you ever noticed how he reaches every place
In a short amount of time—and with a slightly different face?
No mortal man could move that fast, much less when fat and old,
And he’s lived for several centuries despite the arctic cold!
He enters lots of dwellings by a hole he shouldn’t fit!
And just why’s he sneaking in at night? What crimes does he commit?
Most people past the age of six believe he’s just a myth,
But I fear that they don’t know exactly what they’re dealing with:
A speedy, ageless shifting shape that skulks our homes by night—
In other words, a demon that should have us all in fright!