The Ballad of Thieves and Bees?

[deckardcanine]

As one of my favorite holidays approaches, KT inspires me once more. He has been drawing cartoons based on respondents' two or three professed biggest fears. I was going to try the same thing, but my mom suggested that I move it to the medium in which my skill is strongest: poetry.

So please, readers, before Halloween comes, tell me your fears and I will work them into a poem. Once again, you may specify the poetic form; if you don't, I'll choose it myself. And if you feel funny about confessing your fears online, remember that this journal accepts anonymous comments. I won't mind, as long as you keep me creative.

Comments

[-fairest.livejournal.com]

Heh! I challenge you to write a comical poem about identity theft. That's not my worst fear, but it'll do :)

[deckardcanine.livejournal.com]

It happened one night that I went through my bills
And discovered some charges that gave me the chills.
A ton of tobacco, a trip to Bombay,
And 900 number calls, 200K?
I might have gone crazy, but truly I'd bet
That a thief found my card number up on the Net.
I called the department to say there's a fraud.
The reaction I got left me totally awed.
The thief of my card number didn't stop there:
He'd stolen most all of my info. Not fair!
And now the department thought I was a fraud!
(It's clear the bureaucracy's system is flawed.)
The next day I found that my job had been taken,
As well as my lady-friend. Boy, was I shaken!
The thief was more skilled than I ever conceived.
With nowhere to turn to, I walked home aggrieved —
And that's when I found him, in front of my eyes!
I had to admit, that was one good disguise!
"Aha!" I exclaimed. "Now you give it all back!"
The thief merely chuckled. Alas and alack!
"Your identity's mine now," he said, quite the bold one,
"But don't be too angry, man — here, take my old one!"
He gave me a bag full of all passwords and cards,
As well as a handy disguise — the nine yards!
The life of this jerk ain't as bad as I thought,
But in case I get bored, make sure yours won't get caught!

[-fairest.livejournal.com]

Hey! Now this is fun! You get kudos for rhyming 200K with Bombay! (200k does not rhyme with Mumbai...;) Thanks!