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My mind is filled with what-ifs. Not the kind in that Shel Silverstein poem ("What if the bus is late?/What if my teeth don't grow in straight?"). Those reflect serious dreads. Mine reflect surrealistic daydreams, like "What if you told an audience to 'put their hands together' for somebody, and they all gave a single clap in unison?" In recent years, I have thought of fewer what-ifs and more just-imagine-ifs, because I can usually gauge the listener's general reaction and thus the interrogative format loses its power. That said, here is the primary one on my mind nowadays:

Just imagine if a U.S. President (I have no particular one in mind; maybe a future one) got re-elected and immediately came out of the closet.

Imagine further that he had not committed adultery, so the anti-gays would have no sound grounds on which to impeach him.

I brought this up with a friend once, and he said he'd wished Bill Clinton would do it. Hm, it would have been interesting if he'd done it in defense of his claim that he had left all those women alone.

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Stephen Gilberg

March 2026

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