Saturday, 31 October 2020 10:34 pm

Don't Count on It

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The Count von Count evokes Lugosi’s Dracula for sure,
But whether he’s vampiric isn’t easy to infer.
On one hand, he’s got fangs and purple skin, as in some lore.
He turns down normal food and shrinks from garlic even more.
He’s got arithmomania, a hallmark of the class.
He once showed no reflection when he neared a looking glass.
He used to do hypnosis, and his laughs can summon thunder.
He’s even used the V-word to describe himself. No wonder!
He turns into a bat in certain supplements. That said,
He walks around in daylight, and he sleeps at night in bed.
He’s never shown a thirst for blood, and neighbors show no sign
Of ever getting bitten, so he’s probably just fine.

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Stephen Gilberg

February 2026

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