Monday, 19 June 2006 08:29 pm
If I may imitate Ashkitty
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deckardcanineDear Gustav,
If it weren't for your owners, I might never have thought of "Gustav" as a cute name. You have taught me that tomcats can be as endearing as lady cats and that Russian blues have the prettiest shade of gray.
That said, you are a shameless manipulator. That squeaky voice, the way you crack it when begging for food, and the way you almost roll R's are fit to melt a man's heart at the wrong time of day. I realize that a certain event from your kittenhood must have raised your voice a bit, but that's no excuse for outdoing my female cat when she was less than a year old... and you're four or five. Azazel does no such thing; she merely sits quietly near her dishes.
But have you been teaching her lately? Just this evening, she started getting friendly for a change. Aggressively, knock-head-against-hand friendly. She also proceeded to leap onto my spread legs and balance precariously on one of them. She settled down as best she could and purred, but her tail was whipping like a dog's the whole time we interacted. That leads me to suspect that she was reluctant about the whole friendless thingy. Did you put her up to it? Did you hiss threats at her, or is that hostility just for show when you're not conspiring? Right now, she is lying on the floor behind me, not acting particularly hungry. Maybe all that friendliness killed her already meager appetite.
And another thing: you're the largest housecat I've ever known. Your size has not escaped you, I'm sure, as you lay on my bed with front legs outstretched and tail straight back. What was your goal -- four feet? Between your size and your voice, you remind me of Mike Tyson. Just don't start acting like him. And don't start acting dopey either, or you will remind me of Snooch from www.twolumps.net. You're already the right color.
Love,
Steve
If it weren't for your owners, I might never have thought of "Gustav" as a cute name. You have taught me that tomcats can be as endearing as lady cats and that Russian blues have the prettiest shade of gray.
That said, you are a shameless manipulator. That squeaky voice, the way you crack it when begging for food, and the way you almost roll R's are fit to melt a man's heart at the wrong time of day. I realize that a certain event from your kittenhood must have raised your voice a bit, but that's no excuse for outdoing my female cat when she was less than a year old... and you're four or five. Azazel does no such thing; she merely sits quietly near her dishes.
But have you been teaching her lately? Just this evening, she started getting friendly for a change. Aggressively, knock-head-against-hand friendly. She also proceeded to leap onto my spread legs and balance precariously on one of them. She settled down as best she could and purred, but her tail was whipping like a dog's the whole time we interacted. That leads me to suspect that she was reluctant about the whole friendless thingy. Did you put her up to it? Did you hiss threats at her, or is that hostility just for show when you're not conspiring? Right now, she is lying on the floor behind me, not acting particularly hungry. Maybe all that friendliness killed her already meager appetite.
And another thing: you're the largest housecat I've ever known. Your size has not escaped you, I'm sure, as you lay on my bed with front legs outstretched and tail straight back. What was your goal -- four feet? Between your size and your voice, you remind me of Mike Tyson. Just don't start acting like him. And don't start acting dopey either, or you will remind me of Snooch from www.twolumps.net. You're already the right color.
Love,
Steve