Folly of the Faithful Canine

The worlds of cartoon animals have different rules for clothes.
One might not wear a stitch if nothing controversial shows.
Perhaps the species differ in how much they have to wear.
For instance, snakes will typically go nude without a care.
In some works, critters settle for what we would call half-dressed.
They might wear just one article of clothing, like a vest.
The females often cover more, for reasons I won't say
But you can guess, as double standards still exist today.
Old-fashioned toons wear gloves to help gloss over dext'rous fingers.
We hardly feel the need now, but for some, the practice lingers.
The least-worn clothes are footwear; I suspect it's so we see
Reminders of their species at each end (a fur feng shui?).
Societies might not enshrine their dress code in the law,
But if one disregards it, folks may point and say, "Haw-haw!"
Some artists keep it simple with the customs of their land.
If you draw anthros, choose whichever system fits your brand.

Though Charles Schulz has influenced a lot of comic strips,
He did one thing I’ve never seen among cartoonist tips:
He ended declarations with two periods, not one.
Who else does that, and really, why’s the practice ever done?
Few sources have discussed it, so I’m simply left to guess:
His early long ellipses took up space and made a mess.
At times, he’d use no ending punctuation whatsoever.
That still is done today by some cartoonists who endeavor
To keep the mood quite casual, unless in imitation
Of headlines in the papers where they have their publication.
I doubt they keep the dots out just to save a bit of ink.
Schulz did use single periods a little, but I think
He found their tone too final, like the characters were sure
They had no more to say. A second period could blur
Distinction from a signal that they had a further thought.
Regardless, I’ll decline the supernumerary dot.

We’ve all seen a lot of cartoons in which bombs
Are rotund and most frequently black,
But most works that aren’t animations don’t go there,
Unless they’re set centuries back.

The orb shape was meant to be aerodynamic
For shooting right out of a mortar.
(I don’t know the name for the bomb; with few sources
At hand, I’m a shallow reporter.)

The bombs bursting in air in “The Star-Spangled Banner”
No doubt were the spherical kind.
Were fuses exposed? I get different responses
From each of the sites I could find.

The last big American war to use round bombs
Was that between states long ago.
Today they’re just useful for visual shorthand
So viewers can instantly know.

Why bother with Internet comics, you ask?
Most comics in papers aren’t great.
The question’s not bad, and I’m up to the task
Of setting the answer quite straight.

It’s true that the Web has no seal of approval.
There’s no telling what you won’t find.
Most strips end abruptly, and then their removal
Might follow, no trace left behind.

But comic strip syndicates don’t always choose
The ones I consider most fun.
They’re hoping a merchandise franchise ensues
From formulas chosen to run.

Some webcomics offer more beautiful art
Than seen on a newspaper page.
They fill up more space, and they often take part
In boons of the digital age.

For instance, I’ve seen animations and sorts
Of interactivity too.
The artists are quick to receive the reports
Of feedback from readers like you.

The medium helps support lengthier arcs,
With links to keep newbies apprised,
And after some duly insightful remarks,
Old details are sometimes revised.

Perhaps you’d like comics too spicy to print
In papers that aren’t underground.
Some editors won’t allow even a hint
Of edgier stuff to be found.

Or maybe your topic of int’rest is rare
By newspaper standards, and yet
The webcomics cat’ring to people who care
For that one are easy to get.

For decades, the comics I’ve read for my kicks
Have largely been non-paper fare.
I’m hoping the digital medium sticks
And people will see my work there.

Recently, I heard Duran Duran's "Rio." Then I made up new words:

Going back to school now, boy, you’re a terror in disguise.
Bringing shrunken heads? I don’t think that’s very wise.
With a snake in your bed as you sleep through the night, you dream up mayhem quite diverse.
You know you’re something special, and I think it’s for the worse.

CHORUS: His name is Lio, and he’s one eccentric kid.
His main companion is a huge, land-dwelling squid.
He’s always doing things authorities forbid.
Oh, Lio, Lio, do you see what you just did?

I’ve seen you in a lab, and I’ve seen you out in space.
You lead kids to their deaths, if not the human race,
With the Reaper or a giant beast.
But then, I’m sure that your friends could use a feast.

CHORUS

Hey, now, woo, look at that; did young Eva shoot you down?
With the things you contrive to make her your wife,
You’re lucky you’re alive, alive, alive!
Don’t take that chance, ‘cause she won’t take your side
For nothing. I know what you’re thinkin’,
But she’d sooner go join your kitten in drinkin’.

CHORUS

His name is Lio, and it’s hard to guess his age.
He deals with characters across the comics page.
Most folks react to him with fear, disgust, or rage.
All of his friends belong within a tomb or cage.

Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo…