Folly of the Faithful Canine

The Style Invitational didn't publish my previous poetic effort, but I'm taking a chance on the new contest: a limerick featuring a word that starts with "hi."

A gentleman wearing Versace
Ate with gusto and got it all splotchy.
In a hurry, he tried
Using water and dried
It most foolishly—with a hibachi.

The Style Invitational asks for short poems or Q&A jokes featuring words from the latest National Spelling Bee, due Tuesday. I poked around the list until a fifth-round entry grabbed me.

The Middle Ages bestiaries often would include
The Greek-named onocentaur. It’s inevitably viewed
As nothing but a centaur with the horselike side replaced
With donkey parts and sometimes only two legs. What a waste
Of scholars’ ink and parchment (am I sounding like a jerk?).
Whoever made this creature really did some half-assed work.

Yup, I entered the very next Style Invitational contest. Unlike the faux ScrabbleGrams, "breeding" Triple Crown nominees is something I've done before. This time I ran out of steam at 10 entries:

Bloodline x Echo Zulu = DeltaNovemberAlpha
Cant Be Doin That x Seventh Letter = G-Rated
Cyberknife x Verbal = Cutting Remark
Doppelganger x Top Secret = Clone of Silence
Echo Zulu x Simplification = EZ
El Paso x Mugged = Marty Robbin’
Enough Already x Rockefeller = Full Nelson
Gunfighter x Top Secret = Quiet Earp
Hopper x Mr White = Reservoir Frogs
Particular x Peaceful Waters = Specific Ocean

The Style Invitational asked for short poems featuring new Merriam-Webster entries. To avoid overthinking, I opted for the limerick format.

I’m becoming a digital nomad.
Although working from home is not so bad,
It begins to feel wrong
When I do it too long.
I must travel, or else I will go mad.

Hippotherapy offers to treat
Lots of problems. You just take a seat
On the back of a horse,
And it walks ‘round a course
So the movement will help. Ain’t that neat?

There once was an arrant otaku
Who acted at cons like a yahoo.
He got in a fight,
Swung with all of his might,
And knocked himself out with nunchaku.

A Style Invitational contest ending tomorrow calls for poems or jokes involving 2021 National Spelling Bee words from Round 8 or later. I chose the former to save time on my quota. Here are my two entries:

Higgledy-piggledy
Rural Australia is
Loaded with critters we’d
Better beware.
These include octopi,
Thanatophidia,
Spiders and dingoes but
Not the drop bear.

(If you're wondering about my format there, look up double dactyls.)

The aviator did a vrille.
He thought it would be quite a thrill.
Alas, it caused some drinks to spill,
And passengers were far from chill.
A bunch of them were feeling ill.
He isn’t with the airline still.

Another Triple Crown "foal" contest has come and gone. My dad thinks that some of my entries and some of his should have been honorable mentions, but I don't consider any of the listed ones duds. Well, I'll let you decide. Here are the 20 that I submitted:

Arabian Prince x Ram = Ali Baa-baa
Avenue x Keepmeinmind = Memory Lane
Avenue x O Besos = Bésame Street
Big Lake x Defeater = Victoria
Breadman x I Am the Law = Judge Bredd
Brooklyn Strong x Prate = Empire Statement
Defeater x Federal Bureau = Inbestigation
Defunded x Tarantino = Reservoir Docked
Elector x Gretzky the Great = Puck and Choose
Fly Like an Eagle x Moonlite Strike = Miller Lite
Gershwin x Swing Low = Chariots of Ira
Isolate x Big Fish = Lone Shark
Lemon Pop x One Fast Cat = Sourpuss
Like the King x Petruchio = Blue Suede Shrews
Midnight Bourbon x Sainthood = Holy Spirit
Myopic x Red Flag = Mirsighted
Outasite x Ram = Outadodge
Pickin’ Time x Stayin’ Out Late = Whichin’ Hour
Santa Cruiser x Ubiquitous = Omni-Present
Soup and Sandwich x Spielberg = Eatee

I won't post Dad's unless he asks.

Oh, I’m a copy editor; I work with lots of styles.
I’ve caught some flubs that ought to have you rolling in the aisles.
I single-space the sentences, ensure the curly quotes,
And use the Oxford comma if I’m asked to in the notes.
My eye for errors never rests when I am off the clock.
Some famous publications make so many I’m in shock.
Now let me tell the readership what bothers me the most:
The evident mass layoff of the proofers at The Post.

For the first time in about a year, I entered a Style Invitational contest, namely one of those involving Triple Crown nominee foal names. I like many winner and honorable mentions, but my family thinks at least some of my entries were better than some of those. So I'll share mine:

Ancient Land x Pneumatic = Tyre
Censored x Believe Now = Bleep of Faith
Charlatan x Amen Corner = Bull-y Pulpit
Energized x No Salt = Pepper-Upper
Fancy Liquor x Explosive = JohnnieWalkerBlew
Full Flat x Super John = 2D Rescue
Kid Mercury x Charlatan = Qui(a)cksi(a)lver
Money Moves x Explosive = Economic Boom
Poe x Art Collector = House of Escher
Say When x Astaire = Right Said Fred

The latest Style Invitational contest involves working one or more of 38 examples of Merriam-Webster's latest word additions into a poem of up to eight lines. I considered alluding heavily to Free Solo in a poem about that term, but it wasn't grabbing me. I also thought about using my knowledge of cinematic stingers, but someone else would likely have the same idea. Then I remembered a song I heard part of earlier today and decided to parody it:

If you like faking adventure and getting caught in a trap,
If you dig solving puzzles taking more than a snap,
If you like doing lots of teamwork and keeping neurons in shape,
Well, I know this escape room; come with me and escape!

That seemed a little sparse, so I submitted a less musical (yet musical-related) entry as well:

A great actress and singer is Rita Moreno.
Not everyone respects her, but eh, what do they know?
Only one other person has gotten what she got:
The Triple Crown of Acting as well as the EGOT.

The Style Invitational asks for limericks featuring any English word, name, or term that begins with "gh" or "gi." I perused my hardcopy dictionary and came up with this:

You may say you don’t mean any harm,
But I still must insist you disarm.
I don’t care that we missed
Putting such on the list
Of banned items; don’t bring a gisarme.