Folly of the Faithful Canine

I got an honorable mention in the latest Style Invitational results. The new contest also involves poetry, so I'm giving it a spin, this time with four entries. In case you can't read the link, it's about short poems using terms that Merriam-Webster added this month.

1. Most albums that I’ve listened to begin with something hot.
It makes a lot of sense to give a hit the foremost spot.
In music terms, a deep cut is a less familiar song.
“The first cut is the deepest”? Boy, Cat Stevens got it wrong.

2. If you adopt a hoglet, you had best not name it Sonic.
You wouldn’t want one dashing super-fast around the house.
Perhaps you have a slowpoke and would like to be ironic,
But tempting fate is scary with a prickly pseudo-mouse.

3. When a new CEO of Nintendo
Reached his office, he must have thought, “Yup,
This is it, the top floor of the building,
So I’ll never again level up.”

4. Imagine if a supervillain stuck to petty crime,
Only using superpowers for evasion.
Would heroes try to stop him? Would he not be worth their time?
Would they even give some thought to this equation?
If he should get away with it and everyone found out,
Would authorities be all the more maligned?
Would laws be changed if not repealed? There may be room for doubt,
But I’d bet that’s what the villain had in mind.

The latest Style Invitational contest calls for short poems that intentionally misuse a word in a funny way. I considered using "bespoke" with regard to bicycle wheels, but that was hard to work out. Here's what I submitted instead:

I used to opt for tuna fish
When I’d prepare a certain dish,
But now it’s haddock that gets fried.
My recipe’s been codified.

I struck out in the Triple Crown breeding contest. Let's hope I do better with the grandfoals. That contest is open until the 16th, so you may yet enter it as I have. Just don't use any of my submissions:

Dead Gunfighter x Veto Corleone = Don Holliday
Erupt to No Good x Sweeney Toad = Croakatoa
Fat Man x Let’s Go Brandin’ = Let’s Go Brando
Missing Everything x The Very Model! = Heidi Klumsy
Nicholson Dimes x Via Gra = Hard Cash
Pig Penn x Stars and Strops = Jillette Razor
The Wee People x Via Gra = Hobbit-Firming

(Thanks to my parents for talking me out of three weaker entries.)

ADDENDUM: I got an honorable mention for Heidi Klumsy. In her letter, the judge said Croakatoa also made the short list.

Style Invitational Week 1482 involves taking 36 prearranged sets of seven letters, such as have been seen in the ScrabbleGrams game, and making new five- to seven-letter words from them, with humorous elaborations. Apparently, they've held this type of contest several times before, but I never participated until now. (I'm afraid the deadline is less than 90 minutes from when I made this post, so you're probably too late.) Here are the ones I submitted:

ABBMOST > BATMOB: What the Caped Crusader assembles when he needs a lot of help.
ADEOPPS > SODAPEP: A drink-based sugar high.
ACHINNU > UNACHIN: In the future, not having a double chin will be remarkable enough for this word to exist.
AHISTTW > HATWITS: Fools who are "all hat and no cattle."
EENSTVY > YENVEST: To invest in whatever you most crave.
ABNOOSS > SANSBOO: A modern description of someone with no significant other.
AAHPTWY > PAYWHAT: Someone who expects artists to work for mere exposure.
UPDRAFT > DARTUP: A new business that makes its decisions via dartboard.
AABCITX > AXBAIT: An act that's likely to get one fired if discovered.
ACEFFIN > INFACE: Like an invoice, except delivered orally in person.
BEIMSTU > SEMIBUT: A conjunction that functions as a compromise between "and" and "but."
DEHNRTU > NUTHERD: A key component in mass hysteria.
ADLNORU > LUNARDO: A haircut only a lunatic would want.
ABEIKLT > LIBTAKE: An especially left-wing reaction to something.
BELMPRU > BERUMP: To make an ass of.
CDEEILN > ENDICE: To lure with the promise of a crap game.
ABGLNOO > LONGBOA: What the Flintstones use for archery.
AEMRSTW > STRAWME: An unflatteringly inaccurate self-portrayal.
EGGIRRT > RETRIG: To take a math course over again.
AABNNOZ > BANANO: The smallest fruit ever cultivated.
DDEILOT > ITODDLE: An Apple product for two-year-olds.
AADMNNS > ANDMAN: Someone who never knows when to shut up.
BHIMSTU > ITHUMBS: Digits that have evolved to be super slim for fewer texting errors.
ACDEGOR > GODCARE: A health plan reliant on thoughts and prayers.
DDGOOOW > OWDODO: Someone who makes others' heads hurt by being stupid.

I was going to include "ADDEISY > IDESDAY: A redundancy among amateur historians," but the limit is 25 entries.