Folly of the Faithful Canine

To those who haven’t read it, here’s a detail not well known:
In Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, old Victor worked alone.
He had no lab assistant till the first recorded play,
Presumption, which I doubt is still performed a lot today.
The bumbling servant there was Fritz, who later would appear
Within the film of ’31. To add to viewers’ fear,
He had advanced kyphosis like the dude at Notre Dame.
Dwight Frye, who also worked that year as Renfield (he’s the bomb),
Became a different henchman in the sequel with the bride.
The next two films, however, let Lugosi come in stride
As Ygor, whose deformity resulted when the town
Had hanged him but messed up at it (why was he still around?).
This Ygor was a blacksmith, not a toady in the least.
Indeed, he took control of the reanimated beast.
The later House of Frankenstein had Daniel take the form,
So Universal Studios made hunchbacked aides the norm.
The first assistant Igor, tho, was Warner Bros.’ doing
In House of Wax, a Frankenstein-free film for 3D viewing.
It wasn’t till Young Frankenstein that hunchback Igor came,
And he pronounced it “eye-gore,” so it wasn’t quite the same
As that which has been used in countless parodies to date.
Who knew that a composite’s role in lore could be so great?

You see a man on horseback as he rides across the screen.
The land beneath is desert, but the sound—what does it mean?
The trotting should be muffled, so the clopping’s incorrect.
The explanation’s simple: It’s the coconut effect.

That term began in reference to sounding like a horse
By clacking halves of coconuts together. Now, of course,
We use the term more broadly: When a sound that most expect
Is truly unrealistic, that’s the coconut effect.

For instance, when a sword unsheathed from leather makes a zing,
Or when a larger bird makes lots of noise when taking wing,
Or when a fistfight’s loud before a fighter’s even decked,
We know the sound’s been added for the coconut effect.

In fact, the term can be applied to visuals as well
As various events to let the writers show, not tell.
For them, it’s not a flaw; it helps the audience detect
What’s going on. Let’s hear it for the coconut effect!

A program once adored seems hardly worth it anymore.
What used to bring us laughter, thrills, or sorrow is a bore.
The series may continue, but it’s sorely lost its spark.
You can bet there’s been an instance of the Jumping of the Shark.

It could be that a newer writer’s proved to be a hack.
Perhaps a favorite character is never coming back.
Perhaps it’s gotten corny, or perhaps it’s grown too dark.
Either way, it’s fallen victim to the Jumping of the Shark.

When someone steals the spotlight in a way that isn’t cool,
Or something awkward happens and appears to break a rule,
Or viewer interest flags with an interminable arc,
Then a critic’s bound to label it the Jumping of the Shark.

Now you may think it sad when makers quit while they’re ahead,
But please consider how they could have fudged it up instead.
No genius lasts forever; they would someday miss the mark,
Whereupon we get the Jumping of that misbegotten Shark.

An earworm’s a song that gets stuck in your head.
At times I develop an eyeworm instead.
I don’t mean the kind that biologists know,
Just visual patterns that don’t swiftly go.
Perhaps you don’t know what I’m talking about.
Spend hours on Tetris and then you’ll find out.

Allison Bechdel is most widely known
For a comic strip episode setting the tone
For a sort of eponymous feminist test
To see how a matter of gender’s addressed.
It featured two women. One wanted to see
A new movie; the other was doubtful, as she
Would demand that two women converse on a thing
Besides one or more men. Now, is that hard to bring?
You might be surprised at how few works will meet
The criteria, even with words bent to cheat,
Like when “women” are broadened to girls under six
Or to animals talking in CGI pics.
It’s not just in cinema; video games
And most other media fall short on dames.
If you think this is trivial, might I point out
The reverse test, whose passing is rarely in doubt.
Some people find Allison’s test overhyped.
I admit it says nothing of stereotypes
And other key factors to see whether works
Were most likely made by male chauvinist jerks,
But I still like its use as a rule of, ah, thumb
(A phrase that’s not sexist; that origin’s rum).