Saturday, 26 June 2021 06:16 pm
Songs Made Limericks
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deckardcanineThe Style Invitational challenge due Monday calls for rewriting popular songs as limericks. The limit's 25; I've come up with a dozen, focusing on lyrics that I perceive as distinctive and neither too serious nor too bizarre. The full instructions say to identify the songs by title, which I will upon submission, but I thought it would be more fun to let you guys figure 'em out:
I’ve played pinball all over the nation,
But he’s kindled my great fascination:
I’m astonished to find
That a boy deaf and blind
Can become such a game room sensation!
Don’t be fooled by his beautiful lies,
For to him, living girls are no prize:
Long before you get old,
He will turn you to gold —
Unless conquered by one of those spies.
My sources declared you high-classed,
But I see through their fib at long last.
You’re no friend, as I’ve found,
But a blubbering hound
Whom a rabbit could simply run past.
I once rode an anonymous horse
Through a desert — an act I endorse,
For a rain didn’t fall
And my name I’d recall
With no people to give me remorse.
It is time that we boarded the ship
That is making a Venus-ward trip.
Will we ever return
To the Earth? So we yearn.
Now the countdown’s begun, so let’s zip!
Well, we all know the sounds of a cow
And a frog and a duck, but just how
Does a fox make a call?
It’s not famous at all.
“Ring-ding-ding”? That’s a stretch I’ll allow.
So her father is letting her drive
To the library. Has she arrived?
No, she’s cruising for kicks.
When her dad learns her tricks,
Of the T-bird, she’ll soon be deprived.
If it’s scandals you’d like to discuss,
They go back to Earth’s dawning, and thus,
Whether Watergate, Stalin,
Or Budapest fallen,
The fire did not start with us.
These are trinkets I like to collect
From the vessels that sailors have wrecked,
But they’re nothing compared
To the wish I’ve declared:
Join the species I vastly respect.
Boy, those stars on TV have it nice.
While we toil to install a device,
They just play a guitar.
Is that work? Hardy-har.
They get money and chicks at no price.
The meteorologists state
This will be a historical date:
For the first time, the rain,
It appears, will contain
Lots of bachelors! Isn’t that great?
A sneeze blew my food to the soil.
It got mushy but still didn’t spoil.
Then a meatball tree sprouted
(And science was flouted).
The thought makes some folks want to hoil.
I’ve played pinball all over the nation,
But he’s kindled my great fascination:
I’m astonished to find
That a boy deaf and blind
Can become such a game room sensation!
Don’t be fooled by his beautiful lies,
For to him, living girls are no prize:
Long before you get old,
He will turn you to gold —
Unless conquered by one of those spies.
My sources declared you high-classed,
But I see through their fib at long last.
You’re no friend, as I’ve found,
But a blubbering hound
Whom a rabbit could simply run past.
I once rode an anonymous horse
Through a desert — an act I endorse,
For a rain didn’t fall
And my name I’d recall
With no people to give me remorse.
It is time that we boarded the ship
That is making a Venus-ward trip.
Will we ever return
To the Earth? So we yearn.
Now the countdown’s begun, so let’s zip!
Well, we all know the sounds of a cow
And a frog and a duck, but just how
Does a fox make a call?
It’s not famous at all.
“Ring-ding-ding”? That’s a stretch I’ll allow.
So her father is letting her drive
To the library. Has she arrived?
No, she’s cruising for kicks.
When her dad learns her tricks,
Of the T-bird, she’ll soon be deprived.
If it’s scandals you’d like to discuss,
They go back to Earth’s dawning, and thus,
Whether Watergate, Stalin,
Or Budapest fallen,
The fire did not start with us.
These are trinkets I like to collect
From the vessels that sailors have wrecked,
But they’re nothing compared
To the wish I’ve declared:
Join the species I vastly respect.
Boy, those stars on TV have it nice.
While we toil to install a device,
They just play a guitar.
Is that work? Hardy-har.
They get money and chicks at no price.
The meteorologists state
This will be a historical date:
For the first time, the rain,
It appears, will contain
Lots of bachelors! Isn’t that great?
A sneeze blew my food to the soil.
It got mushy but still didn’t spoil.
Then a meatball tree sprouted
(And science was flouted).
The thought makes some folks want to hoil.